As promised...

A few nights ago Randy and I had dinner with Brooke and Megan at Don Emilio's. Somehow, amidst the fajita burritos and Dr. Peppers, we started talking about bad dates. Megan and I were reminded of the time we shared a room at Life Options with Karrie and Lesley and we all told "bad date" stories. Well, I'm proud to say I won the prize of Worst Date Ever.
I don't want to bore you with all the details, as there are many, so I shortened it a little.

I'm a junior in high school, and it's getting close to the time of year when every dateless high schooler panics about who they're going to prom with. I don't have a date and I, for some reason, think it will be a good idea to call up this guy I went to high school with: Adam Berardi. He was the kid who, in 8th grade in rural Southeastern Ohio, had dreadlocks and was rumored to have been busted for pot. "He's changed," my friends told me. You be the judge.

1. I arrive at Cutler's Restaurant in the Ohio University Inn by myself. My date has no car.
2. My date steps on my dress throughout dinner saying something about "you know what they say about a guy with big feet..."
3. My date pours liquor from a flask into his Mountain Dew at dinner.
4. We make a few stops before prom:
a. His friend's house for a flask refill
b. Tony's Bar in uptown Athens to pick up my corsage. My corsage.
5. I drive to prom and he asks to leave his flask in my car. I politely say no.
6. Prom happens.
7. We dance. Once. He touches my back, and I almost throw up.
8. We leave. Early.
9. I take him back to his filling station/friend's house.
10. He leans over to kiss me (as if the date were going well), and I luckily decide to fumble with the clips in my hair.

To give you a better picture of what Adam was like in high school, I have included a glorious entry to my sophomore yearbook.



Sorry for the explicatives, but I wanted you to get the full effect.

Go Lancers.

Aren't you glad you don't live in Oregon

So I'm driving home yesterday from work, listening contently to NPR, and I hear this story. About worm farming. And how Oregon has officially proclaimed worms a crop. Seriously. Here is the lead from npr.org. If you would like to listen to the story go to npr.org and search for worm farming.

All Things Considered, August 4, 2005 · Cattle, wheat... and now, worms. As of July 27, Oregon is designating worms as a crop along with major farm commodities, acceding to the lobbying of an Oregon City worm farmer. Host Melissa Block talks with worm farmer Dan Holcombe, who owns and operates Oregon Soil Corporation, a vermilculture, or worm-farming company.

In other Oregonian news, a teacher/football coach at an Oregon high school will be "publicly reprimanded" for licking three students' wounds. Yes, you heard me. Licking students' wounds. What the crap?! Not only will he be publiclly reprimanded for this, but he must attend a class on the risk of blood-borne pathogens.

So whenever you think Ohio, or wherever you happen to be, might be bad...just tell yourself "at least I don't live in Oregon."

Snake Heaven

Yes that's right folks, the good 'ol Huxtable family. This is what I look forward to during my day at work: an hour-long lunch with the Huxtables. Today I was overcome by excitement as 5-year-old Rudy found a snake in the basement. The whole family gets scared, Cliff and Theo try to catch it in a pillow case, hilarity ensues. Unbelievable.

I'd like to see that kind of stuff happen on a sit-com now. Oh, wait...there would have to be a sit-com on tv now. Please forgive me if you are fans, but Joey and Will & Grace do not count. NBC thinks they do, however, as over the past few weeks they have been hosting "A Night of a Million Laughs" or something like that.

I say put the Cosby Show back on.

Who's with me?

Startin' Up

So...after reading many of my friends' blogs this morning (and afternoon) while I was supposed to be working, it made me think: maybe I should do this too; it doesn't seem all that bad, and perhaps I could have fun.

And here I am. At blogger.com or whatever, creating my very first blog. How interesting the world has become where I can catch up on my friends' lives while I'm sitting at a desk miles away from them. Not that I'm complaining - blogging has already taken up much of my "work" time and I've only begun today. Anything to not have to deal with cranky clients!

Perhaps this is all for my first attempt. I shall try to keep up often, but we all know how that can go.